7 months....if I can update my page even twice a year I suppose I'll get the message across. I read through my old blog again tonight. I feel like an old man now. I removed the link from my profile because it's just too embarrassing/depressing/....the old me. I'm not sure if I like what I've become over the last few years, but I'm still me. Love it or leave it. I'm not sure how many people I'm going to give this link to. Unlike my previous blog, this won't be watered down. At all. I hope I don't offend anyone, but this is my place to tell it like it is. So here goes...
I'm Brett. I'm 28 (in 6 days). I'm a single LDS man who is just trying to figure out what to do when he grows up. If you aren't LDS, you may not understand what the big deal is, almost being 30 and not married (or "unified", as I'm sure people will be calling it in no time). In the eyes of my peers, I'm postponing my ticket to heaven. In my eyes, I'm waiting for someone I feel like I used to know and have lost. When I was young I used to lay in bed at night and fall asleep thinking about the person that would love me like I loved them, but recently, I feel like she is either being kept safe from my many flaws, or making love to another man because I didn't have the balls to go for it.
So here is the dilemma. I live in Napa, California. One of the most beautiful places in the country. If I choose to live what I believe, it means I don't even consider a woman who isn't LDS. Thinking on a local level, this narrows my choices down to the amount of people I could fit into my kitchen. Many of which I have known for 10 years or more. What should I do? Give me your advice. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Most would say, go where there are more LDS people *cough Utah*. Sounds like a simple relocation right? Here's dilemma number two. Rather than finish college I pursued a license in land surveying, which I passed on the first try with less than two years experience. This is great, because a California LSIT is one of the most difficult. This has opened up some great opportunities, one of them being $80,000 a year. If I were doing the same thing in Utah, I would be making pocket-change comparatively. Not cool. Sure Utah is less expensive....but is the difference THAT much? Every time I stand up and think of moving, the thought of my job pulls me back down to reality. Besides....would I really want to work in the snow?! So here's another option...meet people in surrounding areas. Most my friends live outside of Napa! Oakland, San Francisco, etc. Too bad they're not Mormon. The painful reality is that I've lost contact with all of my LDS friends, here and abroad. If you asked me who my best LDS friend was, I couldn't even tell you. This is all my fault, and blame no one but myself, but still narrows down my chance to meet people. So here is what my messed up logic has brought me to. In the past 2 years, I've met/planned to meet probably.....8 girls from LDS dating sites. All but one of those I've either blown off, broke up with, lied to in order to get out of, so forth and so on, and made cry because of it. The one I fell for never called me back once I got on the plane to come home. (I can't even be mad about that. It's called karma.) Yet I'm addicted. I pay for a subscription to 3 different sites, and meet people on an almost daily basis. There is a "wall" that people feel they can hide behind in these situations, that makes it so easy for people to meet, and quickly forget, moving on to the next hot pic, rinsing and repeating. Like a hamster in a wheel, doing so much and not going anywhere. So that's how I feel tonight. Who knows what will be percolating in my mind tomorrow. Or 7 months from now. Maybe next time I'll tell you about the night I almost got into a fight with a bum behind a casino in Reno, NV. True story.
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6 comments:
Brett, you rock buddy..don't let this get ya down. I totally understand what you're saying. I need to call you and catch up sometime soon. Take care!
I was in your shoes 3 years ago. I was trying every singles ward within a 60 mile radius of Fairfield (including the 35+ ones), I was on ldssingles, ldsmingle, one more site I can't think of. Unlike you, I never met anyone worth falling for. I did meet my share of predators and put myself in a really scary situation that made me swear off dating sites and any form of dating, for awhile anyway. Then I moved to Utah for school. I've been here 3 years and had 1 relationship that lasted a month. Turns out, I don't think Utah is the answer either.
Glad you're blogging again.
Such a dilemna...not a day goes by without thinking of how much I'd love to live in Napa, but from the LDS single guy's perspective...that's a tough one!
I'm pretty much not qualified to be giving advise, seeing that I'm kind of the "black sheep" of the family when it comes to marraige. (Both figuratively and kind of literally!) ha ha
Hope we get to hang out soon, I miss you.
Brett, I think you should move here. It's easier for guys because there are so many more girls here. And you're only 27 (about to be 28), and that's not too old out here. I know plenty of great, attractive girls in that age range who live less than two blocks from me. You need a new dating system. Then when you find the girl, you move back to California and make the money and avoid the snow....
First, let me just say congrats on the LSIT. That is awesome. I'm taking the exam in the spring here in OK and ... well, I hope I pass.
I'm probably the last person to give advice, since I know nothing about LDS. BUT I do have a son who is 27, so you can just take this from a mom's point of view. BE HAPPY! You know what's right, what's true. Don't get caught up with what you think other people want you to do. That will only leave you feeling empty. Be true to yourself and to God. That's what really matters.
Thank you for all the great thoughts. Blog you soon =)
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