I'm not usually into the mushy patriotic stuff, but I loved this....enjoy.
~Brett
Written by an Australian Dentist
To Kill an American
You probably missed this in the rush of news, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper, an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.
So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is . So they would know when they found one. (Good one, mate!!!!)
'An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.
An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan . The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.
An American is also free to believe in no religion..... For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.
An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.
The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.
An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.........
When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!
As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan ... The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.
Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.
So you can try to kill an American if you must.. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin , and Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
G.T.F.O. J.F.T.
Hmmm....what to write.
To make a short story shorter, my life has been pretty cut and dry, boring, uneventful, and chill. No drama, which is good. Since January I've been working as a consultant for CalTrans (California Dept. of Transportation), and it's been a good gig, but it's draining and time consuming. 12 hour days are nasty, but the 4 days a week are nice. Sometimes I still work for my current employer on Friday if the opportunity presents itself. So of course I'm sleep deprived, and too exhausted to do anything fun on the weekends....but I'm yawning all the way to the bank, so no big deal. Not much else to tell. So here's an anecdotal story in case you were expecting one =P. Excuse my French...but this is how I'd tell it if we were face to face...
So last week I was in the grocery store, getting some shampoo. And conditioner, cause I roll like that now. While I'm perusing the isle, I run into Joe Fucking Technology. I'm gonna call him J.F.T. for short. Let me paint you a picture. Asian man, in his late 30's, overweight, polo shirt and khaki's with pleats, penny loafers, and belt cinched up about 3 holes too tight (one for each degree of denial I'm sure). All of this not to be outdone by the damn bluetooth in the ear WHILE YOU'RE NOT FUCKING TALKING...and here's a first, a laptop connected via some "connect anywhere" thing (that costs more money than it's worth) open and running in his shopping cart.... The guy is looking up and comparing prices for hair products online. Like he's going to say "OH, Pert Plus is 20 cents cheaper if I go to the other major grocery store." The guy had a freakin' bowl cut...I mean, really? So whats my beef with this guy you might ask? Wait for it....As I'm trying to pass by him with my hand basket stocked with milk, chicken breast, mangoes, and potatoes, he ....YOU GUESSED IT, cut me off. Why would he do that??? Oh yeah, cause he's too busy updating his Facebook with some stupid status crap like "Joe Fucking Technology just got a killer deal on Irish Spring!" to notice me. So his clueless isle hogging didn't just cut me off, it caused my overweight hand basket to plow into an entire section of female hygiene products, sending tampons, maxi pads, pregnancy tests and vagisil flying into the air like shrapnel from an estrogen filled grenade. Lets not forget that what room WAS left in my basket was now filled with a variety of this lady swag. Does the dude stop to help? NO....instead he does that look where he barely tweaks his head to the side, but his eyes are looking as far into his peripheral as humanly possible, and keeps walking. All I could do was look at the back of his fat head and utter the first thing that came to my head. "You've GOT to be shitting me." So there I am, on my hands and knees picking this crap up, while a handful of people walked by. I'm surprised they didn't have to cut their way through because the air was pretty damn thick with my embarrassment.
Oh yeah, and what the hell is with all the new teenage heartthrob dudes looking like they just rolled out of bed?! Comb your fucking hair.
One last thing to keep the title of my blog legit....it's highly photoshopped, but who cares....
Mmm mmm mmm....you're such a tease I Can't I'm Mormon Chick....such a tease.
Until next time.
To make a short story shorter, my life has been pretty cut and dry, boring, uneventful, and chill. No drama, which is good. Since January I've been working as a consultant for CalTrans (California Dept. of Transportation), and it's been a good gig, but it's draining and time consuming. 12 hour days are nasty, but the 4 days a week are nice. Sometimes I still work for my current employer on Friday if the opportunity presents itself. So of course I'm sleep deprived, and too exhausted to do anything fun on the weekends....but I'm yawning all the way to the bank, so no big deal. Not much else to tell. So here's an anecdotal story in case you were expecting one =P. Excuse my French...but this is how I'd tell it if we were face to face...
So last week I was in the grocery store, getting some shampoo. And conditioner, cause I roll like that now. While I'm perusing the isle, I run into Joe Fucking Technology. I'm gonna call him J.F.T. for short. Let me paint you a picture. Asian man, in his late 30's, overweight, polo shirt and khaki's with pleats, penny loafers, and belt cinched up about 3 holes too tight (one for each degree of denial I'm sure). All of this not to be outdone by the damn bluetooth in the ear WHILE YOU'RE NOT FUCKING TALKING...and here's a first, a laptop connected via some "connect anywhere" thing (that costs more money than it's worth) open and running in his shopping cart.... The guy is looking up and comparing prices for hair products online. Like he's going to say "OH, Pert Plus is 20 cents cheaper if I go to the other major grocery store." The guy had a freakin' bowl cut...I mean, really? So whats my beef with this guy you might ask? Wait for it....As I'm trying to pass by him with my hand basket stocked with milk, chicken breast, mangoes, and potatoes, he ....YOU GUESSED IT, cut me off. Why would he do that??? Oh yeah, cause he's too busy updating his Facebook with some stupid status crap like "Joe Fucking Technology just got a killer deal on Irish Spring!" to notice me. So his clueless isle hogging didn't just cut me off, it caused my overweight hand basket to plow into an entire section of female hygiene products, sending tampons, maxi pads, pregnancy tests and vagisil flying into the air like shrapnel from an estrogen filled grenade. Lets not forget that what room WAS left in my basket was now filled with a variety of this lady swag. Does the dude stop to help? NO....instead he does that look where he barely tweaks his head to the side, but his eyes are looking as far into his peripheral as humanly possible, and keeps walking. All I could do was look at the back of his fat head and utter the first thing that came to my head. "You've GOT to be shitting me." So there I am, on my hands and knees picking this crap up, while a handful of people walked by. I'm surprised they didn't have to cut their way through because the air was pretty damn thick with my embarrassment.
Oh yeah, and what the hell is with all the new teenage heartthrob dudes looking like they just rolled out of bed?! Comb your fucking hair.
One last thing to keep the title of my blog legit....it's highly photoshopped, but who cares....
Mmm mmm mmm....you're such a tease I Can't I'm Mormon Chick....such a tease.
Until next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
